What Happens After The Kids Move Away?

Written by:Jerri Mclean

You would think that 18 years is a long time to spend with your children. Yet those precious years whiz past before you know it. Certainly, there are days as parents when you think your empty nest won't be all bad. Parenting is not an easy task when you consider the long nights spent awake trying to pacify a crying infant after an equally long and difficult day with your child.

Once you get the hang of it, however, those happy years fly by. Suddenly you are faced with the fact that your children have grown up and are ready to strike out on their own. You are no doubt going to be exposed to some amount of heartache when the day arrives and you find yourself in an empty nest. However, being prepared for this life change can ease your pain considerably, and send you into the next phase of life with a flourish.

When your children leave, your relationship does not stop. It simply evolves. Your relationship will transition from a parent/child relationship to more of a peer friendship. Your children will not depend on you for the same type of assistance they needed when they were small. They have grown into adults and have something to offer you as well. If you stop clinging to the relationship of the past and acknowledge that your grown child is an individual with much to offer, you can learn from each other and grow together. Your children may be adults but they will still need guidance and love from you. Whether you are happy or sad your child has left, the fact remains that you will always be a parent.

There is a reason why many young couples opt to postpone having kids until later in their lives. That’s because the arrival of children often ends up meaning that spouses will have less time to spend with each other. It can be difficult for partners to connect with each other on a deep level when they are constantly chasing after their children and tending to their needs.

Your children leaving will give you the chance to once again reconnect with your spouse. You’ll both be able to cuddle up in the living room and watch a movie without worrying about being disturbed or go out on long walks together without wondering if the kids are about to set the house on fire.

Single parents can open their lives to a new world of adventure as well. You have the time to get reacquainted with old friends and discover your life once again. Join clubs and take up new hobbies which will help you meet new people and form new friendships.

It’s hard to fulfill your adult fantasy of travelling around the world or launching a potentially risky home business when you have children to care for. With your kids away, however, there is nothing stopping you from embarking on your dream.

Time is always at a premium when you're raising children. When they have moved on to start families of their own, you will have all the time you want to do the things you have dreamed about doing while you wait for grandchildren to steal your heart a second time around. With more time on your hands, you can consider advancing your education, finally working on your novel or taking the time out to exercise more regularly.

It takes a while for people to become accustomed to the idea of their children leaving. When the moment comes, do not try a quick fix by making hasty changes to your life. Remember the wise old saying: act in haste and repent in leisure. Refrain from doing anything that you would later regret. Only then can you proceed with your life and your new crazy notions.

This doesn’t mean that you should abandon your kids, though. Call them up off and on to ensure that you remain in touch with each other. Your job as a parent is to raise your kids to be strong enough to take care of themselves. Let them know you are always there for them and wish them the best in their lives. Otherwise, let their superb upbringing take over.