Dealing With The Empty Nest Syndrome

Written by:Jerrie Knutson

There is a day coming that you, like most parents, may not like facing. This dreaded day is when your children leave your home to make their own way in the world. The children will all be grown up and gone. It seems to you they were mere babies only last week. Now you are left feeling fairly lost and alone. Be encouraged that, although the transition may feel difficult, there are some tips to help you move through it smoothly into another wonderful phase life has to offer.

Just because your children move out in no way means that the relationship you have with them has to end. The relationship simply changes. Your relationship will transition from a parent/child relationship to more of a peer friendship. Your children will not depend on you for the same type of assistance they needed when they were small. They have grown into adults and have something to offer you as well. You can both learn things from one another as long as you are both open to the idea. They will need (solicited) advice and love from you even though they are grown up. You will always be your child's mother or father no matter what you feel like when you first come home to an empty nest.

Though the empty nest may leave you feeling low, this is the perfect opportunity to bring back the romance in your marriage. When immersed in the 24/7 task of actively raising small children, the marriage often gets pushed to the back burner. At the very least, spontaneity is hindered by the responsibilities of parenthood. However, with the kids now out of the picture, you can go back to being newlyweds, taking off for an impromptu dinner date, going for a long romantic drive, or simply spending the night talking to each other, rediscovering the joy of just being together. This is a chance for you to fall in love all over again with the person who stood by you as you raised your kids. Rekindle a little romance or deepen your friendship without interruptions.

If you are not married, raising children can make it difficult to make new friends. This is an opportune time to reach out to others, meet up with old friends, or make some new friends.

Now is the time to begin pursuing that hobby you have always wanted to try. You can join a recreational league to get back in shape. You can finish up that masters degree that you always wanted to get. This is the perfect time to chase your dreams.

Don’t spend all of your free time worrying about your kids. Take credit in the fact that you have brought them up well. You have taught them right and equipped your kids with everything that they need to be successful in life.

This is your opportunity to spend time nurturing yourself. However, it is perfectly fine to proceed slowly in the beginning while you take the time to adjust to this new phase. You will also need some space to get used to the idea of not having to rush back home to attend to your children's needs. Don't rush to fill the inevitable void in your life too quickly. Add more activities as you become more at ease with your situation. And don't be afraid to call the kids occasionally. This will reassure you and help you move on toward the new and exciting life that is awaiting you.